


Never Let Me Go

by crabcakebenedict



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-12-25 14:40:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabcakebenedict/pseuds/crabcakebenedict
Summary: You and Jared used to be madly in love. After things fell apart and he moved on with Gen, you were left behind to deal with the ruins of your heart. It's years later and Jared as since divorced Gen, running into you at a bar you play a gig at. Will you two patch things up?*******Clearly, an AU and I would never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever wish any ill on Jared or Gen or their little family. They're so perfect for each other. So please don't send hate :(





	1. Don't Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

> I'm half asleep as per usual, and I just really wanted A RPF with Jared since I'm in the midst of writing one for Jensen. This is probably trash as with everything else I write.

It was just another typical Saturday night at Tuc Craft Kitchen with your guitar and a mic, playing for hungry people that barely acknowledged you. But it wasn't your job to be noticed, you were background noise while patrons enjoyed beer and mussels. You even played your own songs but no one seemed to care.

_"...I think you made it through, another winter."_

Singing the last lyric and playing the final note, you finished your set up with a quick 'thank you' and headed off stage to the bar. The bartenders usually gave you a beer on the house to supplement what little pay you got from the weekly gig. It was a pity drink but you gladly took it.

Leaning on the polished bar top, you motioned to a slender lady with cropped ebony hair who was already mixing cocktails. "Hey Teri, the usual when you get a sec, please."

She acknowledged you with a smile and within minutes was sliding over an ice-cold tall one. "On us," she smirked. "Oh, and you had a fan club tonight." You were already sipping as she spoke and then you heard your name being called from behind you, leaving you no time to ask what she was talking about.

"Y/N?" Jared almost didn't want to say your name, as if the act of calling it out would make you disappear. His heart was pounding hard against his ribs and every last feeling he had for you before the breakup came flooding up from somewhere deep. He hadn't imagined being this close to you ever again; it was like a dream that he had this chance. Now he could tell you how sorry he was, maybe you'd give him a second chance.

The familiarity of the voice froze you entirely, stopped your lungs from pumping air. _Is that Jared? Like Jared who broke my heart, Jared?_ You didn't want to turn and look because you didn't know how you felt. Mixed emotions danced all over you. You were angry for him leaving you behind. You were sad that he had left you behind so easily. You were elated that now he was _actually_ behind you.

Dubiously, you turned, bracing yourself for the inevitable tsunami of feelings that were about to hit you. Your eyes laid on him and his on you and everything in that moment paused and hung in mid air. Neither of you could speak. What did you say anyway?

"Jared?" You finally willed your lips to move and your tongue to softly utter his name and time seemed to run at normal speed again.

Within seconds he was enveloping you in his large frame, an embrace so tight you could've melded with him. Your arms snaked around his middle and he refused to let you go for several heartbeats. He was breathing you in, remembering how it felt to have you pressed against him.

"It's been forever." He muttered as he pulled back. Jensen was standing a few steps back, wondering who the hell you were.

"You could say that," you remarked, not wanting to get into your true feelings on the topic. "What are you doing here?"

He tossed his head towards Jensen. "We came for something to eat. I heard you playing, I love your voice. I knew you'd play live someday."

You had to laugh and offer up a shrug. "It's not like I'm selling out Madison Square Gardens or anything but it's a job." One that barely paid but he didn't need to know that you were just scraping by.

"Uh, Jensen, this is (Y/N)," Jared took a side step and introduced his friend to you. Jensen's brows inched high on his head as he put two and two together. You were (Y/N), Jared's first love, Jared's first heartbreak. Now it all made sense why his friend seemed distracted during dinner and why he beelined it straight for you the moment you got off the stage.

"Nice to meet you finally." Jensen held out a hand which you unwilling slipped your own into, feigning as polite a smile as you could. Judging by his reaction, he knew about your history and that made you a little uncomfortable. What had Jared told this man?

"Look, uh, I'll give you two a minute." Jensen nodded, gave a tight lipped smile and then slipped away, leaving you to face Jared.

"I really missed you," he started. You wanted to walk away that exact moment, the second those words fell from his tongue is when the urge to run hit you. But you stayed, looking at his genuine expression and knowing he was hurting as much as you were and just as conflicted.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out, the sound caught in your throat. What could you even say that wasn't basically you telling him to fuck off? There wasn't a manual for this sort of thing and your experience was very much lacking. Were you supposed to say you missed him too? Because you did, as angry as you were.

"I know I really hurt you back then, I just," he sighed and took a step closer, his hand setting on your shoulder, sliding over it and resting on your upper arm. "I really am sorry." His hazel eyes were doleful as he looked down at you, trying to convince you his words were true. "I was so stupid to walk away from us. I should've fought for us."

He was reopening the wound you thought healed years ago. You stepped back from him, letting his large hand fall off your arm; the last thing you wanted was his contact right now. "Yeah, well, sure moved on fast. Got married and had kids and everything."

Jared winced. Yes, he had done that, but things had fallen apart between Gen and himself and the love wasn't there anymore. Great friends, they were, maybe, but lovers, no. That's why they divorced. He didn't regret having his kids, he loved his little family, even if it was separated but there were moments he wished it was you he had settled down with in the first place.

"Anyway, you're a big star now, probably have places to be. I have to go back up there soon so." You raised the beer to your lips and watched Jared's expression fall as you tried to bitterly dismiss him.

"Do you live in Vancouver now? Maybe we can get together sometime?" He pushed. It was typical Jared, not one to give up easily.

What you wanted to answer was _'uh, duh, remember when I moved out here with you so you could work on Supernatural and then you abandoned me?'_. But what you bit back the speech, it was too exhausting to sass him tonight. Just seeing him drained you.

You reduced your answer down to a single 'maybe," and took another long pull from the beer, finishing the dregs of it. Without another word, you set your empty bottle on the bar top and strode away from Jared, leaving him standing by himself and looking rather rejected in your cloud of dust.

As you got back on stage and resumed the plucking of your guitar, you saw the brown-haired man giving you one last heartbroken glance as he slipped out the front door with his friend. Did you make a mistake in not taking him up on his offer? Though, you sang, you were distracted and dripping with regret. You had great memories with Jared, and yes they were tainted now but you still remembered being the happiest you'd ever been -- _with him_. It wasn't his fault, his career picked up and you just couldn't keep up pace. Between trying to get a break in music, _\-- which never came --_ and dealing with his hectic schedule, things just fell apart.

The worst part of all of it was you couldn't even remember what the trigger was that set the breakup in motion. It was something so small and so trivial that blew up into the argument that inevitably lead to the fall of your relationship and now you c _ouldn't even fucking remember it._


	2. Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared comes back to see the reader, and things blossom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the trash queen and I'm half asleep so idk what to tell you if this sucks? Shoot me? Lowkey would be alright with that though

It had been 2 agonizing weeks until Jared finally had the opportunity to go back to the restaurant he found you in. He attempted to hit the place during the week but he mostly worked late and the one day he did visit, you weren't playing. Then he had his kids on the weekend and he was too busy being number 1 dad to even think about going to Tuc's. It took two weeks but he finally found you again, and there you were, playing a cover of Billie Jean on the stage. The mood lighting seemed to surround you in a glow that gave Jared butterflies. You looked so beautiful strumming and singing, completely in your element. It disappointed him that he seemed to be the only one paying attention, you had a beautiful voice.

He took a spot at the bar, ordering a beer, and relaxing on a stool. His long legs stretched in front of him as his elbows balanced on the bar top. You didn't notice him come in the front door but you saw him stretched out, eyes intently watching you strum. You could even make out a smirk. Suddenly, all the butterflies in the world took up home in your stomach. For two weeks you beat yourself up for not hearing him out, for walking away. You almost had yourself convinced that you didn't care and that you were doing just fine. But now he was here and paying close attention. And he looked so handsome, leaning there, waiting for you.

Playing the rest of your set, you tried not to acknowledge him or his interest. But as soon as you were done, you were going to approach him despite having reservations. No matter how many butterflies Jared gave you, he still broke your heart and that made things conflicting because you didn't know what you wanted. Did you want to run as far away as possible or run straight to him? You played the last note of a Wild World cover, thanked the audience -- or lack thereof -- and then bounced up to the bar for your complimentary drink and a chat with your ex.

You leaned next to Jared, motioning to the bartender at the same time. It was Charlie's attention you caught, and he was just finishing up mixing a plethora of drinks. He flashed you his signature lopsided yet charming smile to acknowledge you. Charlie with his red hair and freckled skin was always sweet on you, sometimes you could flirt your way into a second drink.

"You don't give up, huh?" You asked Jared who was just staring at you from the corner of his eyes and acting as nonchalant as possible.

A shrug rolled off his broad shoulders, a smirk curving the corner of his mouth. "I don't know what you mean, I just came here for a beer and some musical entertainment."

When you decidedly plopped down onto the stool next to him, Jared swiveled to face you. Charlie came up with the beer and gave you the same 'on the house' speech. You thanked him and when you turned back to Jared, he was staring at you with a dreamy glint in his eye and a smile softly curling his lips. The same way he used to look at you when you were a loving couple. It stirred up lost feelings, almost made you forget about the end.

"So, did you get what you came for? I mean I see you got the beer." You sipped at your drink, tried to play it cool but you were a mess inside. He was dragging you back in despite wanting to run as far away from all the mixed emotions. You hated being unsure of how to feel.

He took a pull from his own bottle, smirking into it the mouth of it. "I got everything I came for, and more." He raised his eyebrows at you and suddenly you were giggling. It felt like you weren't in control of your body that second. You were trying to hide a blossoming smile but it was fruitless, your lips were arcing up on their own accord.

"There it is! I knew I could get that smile out of you." He was beaming and it was infectious. Despite trying to fight the inevitable, your small grin was turning into a wide toothy smile that Jared was matching.

"I hate you," you joked, giving him a little shove that did little to set him off balance. For half a second the whole moment felt like no time had passed between the pair of you. It felt as if it were meant to be again. Your smile fell, and you straightened your spine as the pain from the breakup came crashing in like a bull, achingly reminding you of the past.

Jared was studying you, knowing you were getting ready to walk away from him again. He hated that it was your solution to problems you didn't want to deal with but he was willing to work hard to get you to stay, even if you walked away 100 times prior. He'd break through to you and prove that things were different, that he wasn't giving up easily again.

He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your palm. It sent little sparks dancing up your arm. "Listen, (Y/N), just give me a chance. All I wanna do is take you out to dinner or a drink or coffee, whatever you prefer, and get caught up."

You considered what he said. Feelings were walloping you every which way. If you didn't at least give him a chance, you'd regret it for the rest of your life. You'd never know if things could've been different now that you were older and had matured. "Fine. Okay, any of that sounds good."

Jared was beaming again, thrilled that you had agreed. "When are you free? I have a few night scenes this week but I could make something work."

"Well, what about now? I'm done my set," you suggested shyly. Did that come off too eager? You were practically chewing the inside of your lip raw.

Jared was melting over how cute you looked all shy and anxious. He chuckled, "Wanna just stay here and catch up over drinks then? I'm buying."

\----

The two of you sat for hours, well until the last call, just talking. He told you stories of his kids and from the set. You told him all about your family, how your sister's graduating from Yale and how you were in your cousin's wedding party. Once you had a few drinks downed, it didn't feel as anxious being there. It wasn't until the end of the night you realized that you missed him and this. All the heartache was dissolving away. The past was the past and nothing you did would ever change that. Besides, the relationship ended badly because you were both too immature to handle the circumstances thrown at you. Now you were older, more experienced. Well, at least kind of. You had the gift of retrospection, and you know what not to do this time around.

"It was really good seeing you, (Y/N)." Jared smiled lovingly, his long fingers rubbing over the back of your hand that rested on your thigh.

Reaching into your purse, you retrieved your phone, opened up a new entry in contacts, and handed it over to Jared's large hands. "Might be easier to keep in touch, that way you don't have to come down here every Saturday."

When he realized that you wanted to talk to him still, that he had broken down a wall, he was excited and it was evident in his expression. You loved how wrapped up in you he was. It was like before when he doted on you constantly.

"What if I want to come down here?" He smirked, busy punching his contact info in the phone. When he was done, he handed it back to you and then raised from the stool. You followed suit and he was immediately wrapping his large frame around you, enveloping you in a hug so tight that it felt like you could get lost in him, drown in his depths. But he pulled back and held you by the shoulders before you suffocated in his waters. "Do you need a ride home?" he asked, his hands still firmly holding you there as if you could float away from him. 

"No, no," you blurted out. There was no way you were letting Jared take you home to find out your big fat secret: that you were broke, that you lived in the east end. It felt dirty to admit, that you had failed hard while he had thrived. What would he think of you? "I think I'm just gonna cab it. Thanks though."

"Okay, well, let me at least get you into one then," he demanded, offering his arm to you. Indulging him, you hooked your arm through his, letting him lead you out of the restaurant into the cool night air. Jared helped you get into a taxi and watched you pull away before he was heading for his own ride. Jensen was waiting for him.

"How'd it go?" Jensen asked as they both slid comfortably into their respective seats.

"Pretty good," Jared beamed. "I think I might stand a chance with her again."

 


	3. Close Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader fights with whether or not she should text Jared and truly let him back into her life. He finds himself obsessed with you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao probably so many plot holes and idec at this point but also i used clerks 2 as inspo for the employees because i'm amazing.   
> if you hate it, im sorry. and as per usual, i'm sick af when i write this.

Laying in your twin bed after Tuc's, everything was hitting you harder than you ever imagined it could. It felt like an illusion. Your halves were torn between what to do and how to feel and whether you needed to make a decision to keep in contact in an instant. For years, you successfully avoided any form of feeling when it came to Jared and now here you were, wondering if maybe having him back in your life wouldn't be a totally horrible thing -- even as just a friend. Was that a thing that was possible though? You hadn't kept any exes around so this felt like a foreign theory only a few had the skills to put into action -- you were not one of those few.

His smile, those eyes, the veins on the back of his hand as it rested on your thigh, the way you guys seemed to fall back into old habits, it was nostalgic yet there was an underlying anxiety that it would all lead back to the same outcome as before. Was it worth the risk to let him back in? That's why you got his number, so at least you could have the upper hand if you decided maybe you weren't as mature as you thought and couldn't handle this. Your mind spiraled around the past, the present, and the future until you were dizzy and exhaustion had set in your bones. It pulled you into a deep sleep that was much needed. Hopefully, you'd wake up with a much clearer vision of what you wanted or expected from this whole thing with your ex.

\---

Jared could barely sleep after Tuc's and his long, leisurely talk with you. His slumber was held just out of reach from an exhilaration that kept his thoughts spinning around what it all meant. Did he really stand any chance of getting you back into his life? How easily you let the conversation fall into place surprised him though. It had been years since the two of you laid eyes on each, and the departure wasn't the greatest, though it felt like no seconds had passed and there wasn't any drop of animosity left. It felt natural to be there with you, to have you by his side like so long ago. Which solidified the notion that he not only wanted you back, he needed you back. And maybe, just maybe that frightened him a little. After what had happened with the pair of you, and then Gen, maybe he was worried about loving again. But that was a deep-seeded issue to deal with another time. He looked at his phone, wondering if you were going to send him a text -- at least so he had your number too. But nothing came in.

When he was finally wrecked with exhaustion enough to fall unconscious, he woke only a couple hours later, still exhausted. After he was unsuccessful in falling back to sleep, he opted to just get up and slip in a workout before the day really started rolling. The sun was inching slowly over the horizon when he finished up, showered, and made his way down to the kitchen for much-needed coffee. He had a steaming mug in one hand, phone in the other as he checked for any messages. Still nothing. It was early so you probably weren't yet up, but he was kicking himself for not getting your number too. He had just been so excited about the prospect of you even talking to him that he was overwhelmed in the moment. With a sigh, he set his phone down, opted to push you from his mind and just finish getting ready for his tee time with Jensen.

But his brain had other ideas and refused to stay away from you no matter how hard he pushed. It constantly wandered back to the scene in the bar, you laughing, the way your hair fell, the light that seemed to surround you, the way you drew your tongue between your teeth as you listened to him talk. It kept churning out images of your frame pressed into him so tight it appeared like you were one, and of watching you delicately wave a small hand as the cab pulled away. It was the little things about you that he was drawn to, the things no one bothered to notice. The same as back then. Before he knew it, Jensen was pulling in to the driveway and the two of them were off to golf. And still, Jared's head was trapped in Tuc's.

\------

  
Daylight broke through the cracks in the curtain, creating the perfect line of light that ran directly across your closed eyes. The presence slowly woke you up and when you fluttered your eyes open to the harsh glow, a groan slipped free from your throat, palms covering your face. Morning person, you were not. Blindly extending one arm, you reached for your phone on the budget nightstand to your left. Fingers fumbled until they located the device, pulling it into view while still shielding your face from the window.

**9:32 AM.**

_Shit, my shift starts in thirty minutes. I'm so gonna be late._

Another groan echoed through the apartment as you hurriedly forced your body out of bed and across the room to the coffee maker. The small apartment was just that, and mostly all one room except for the bathroom. Half the time, it felt like a closet but you didn't complain because you had a roof over your head and it contained everything you'd need to survive. Sometimes, you pondered moving back to Texas to live with your mom, it would've been a much better life on the surface. But she drove you absolutely nuts and besides, you didn't have enough money to get to the next town let alone across borders. She may have loaned you the money to get back but then she'd hold it over your head, just like she did everything else because your brother was _perfect_. God, she was awful sometimes.

As you moved about, pulling your hair into a bun and slipping on your uniform, the awareness that you hadn't sent Jared a text hit you. Before you had fallen asleep, you toyed with the idea, just so he had your number too and you had hoped when you woke up that you'd have more confidence in a decision. But you still were dizzy thinking about what you wanted. He was famous, you didn't fit into his lifestyle with your budget apartment and worn out Walmart shoes. He also ripped your heart out once. There was a time when you thought you'd be together forever. And despite him only wanting to be friends for now, you knew that you ran the risk of falling for him all over again. He was too skilled when it came to your heart.

A good portion of you didn't want to risk being trampled again. You preferred to be on your own than grieve the loss of someone alive again, it was too painful. But the conversation at Tuc's was great and you realized you needed it more than you had thought previously. Pushing him from your mind for the time being before any more damage to your sanity was done, you chugged the last of your piping coffee and bolted out the door for the dead-end job that supplemented the Saturday night show while you still waited for your music career to bloom.

\--

"She'll text you," Jensen groaned. He was tired of watching his friend anxious and constantly checking his phone. Jared was distracted albeit trying his best to stay focused on their conversation. Jensen didn't blame him but he couldn't watch his friend worry any longer. He could tell it was eating Jared alive, and it was concerning given his history. All Jensen wanted was for his friend to be happy, and apparently, happy started with you so he couldn't exactly tell him to _'get the fuck over it'._

"Hm? Oh. I mean, she's probably not up. Right?" Jared asked, one long leg dangling out of the golf cart as Jensen stopped it at their next hole.

"What did you tell me last night?" Jensen asked, moving to grab his clubs from the back, Jared slowly following suit. They dragged their bags, to a good spot on the green and set them practically next to each other.

"That I thought I stood a chance again?" Jared answered, unsure of himself now. Maybe he was delusional. He pulled out a club, spinning it between two fingers.

"Exactly, so just relax. She'll send you a text. And if she doesn't. guess who's loss it is?" Jensen was leaning on one club, stressing his words to his friend who was looking even more anxious. But he was right, they both knew it. "It's gonna eat you up, it's obvious you like her, a lot, but if she doesn't text, she's not worth it. And ya know, maybe you guys just needed closure."

Jared sighed. "She's probably overwhelmed. I kinda just popped back into her life, we had a messy breakup, I promised to take things slow --" Jared gradually quieted when his friend cocked a brow in warning at him. "Fine, fine. You're right." He wasn't settled on the idea though.

"Good. Now can we play some fucking golf?" Jensen joked, moving to set his tee.

\------

You just barely made it to work on time, narrowly avoiding another write-up. Anna was already on the clock, she laughed as you whirled in the door, practically throwing your bag across the back room, and wrestling with your apron as you ran to clock in. The shift was busy, as per usual, with you stuck on the grill, and Anna collecting orders. She was perky, young and endlessly optimistic. Anna was a cute girl with her strawberry blond hair, freckles, and button nose but she was often way too gullible. You liked her fine but messing with her was just too easy and made the shifts more bearable.

Max, another coworker who was doubly as cynical and closer to your age, also found entertainment in teasing Anna -- though he was more relentless with it. One time, he actually managed to make poor, clueless Anna cry. Despite everything, she still thought you were all friends which couldn't have been further from the truth. It was halfway through your shift when Max came in to relieve you for a break. The maroon haired man was grumbling about a stupid something or other -- you couldn't hear him and you didn't need to because Max was always complaining. Slipping down into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the dining area, you unlocked your phone.

Swiping across the screen, you pulled up Jared's number and hit the message button only to close it immediately. What the hell did you say, or want to say? You opened and closed it several more times before a group of whispering teens 2 tables over pulled your attention. They thought they were being inconspicuous but you could tell they were clearly talking about you. One girl in the group had her phone out, and the rest were huddled around it, exchanging glances between the device and you. The temper in you wanted to erupt, to ask if they had something to say but instead, you opted just to seeth quietly while you pondered over what to say to Jared. You completely missed the fact that the one with her phone out had slyly taken your photo as you stared down at your thumbs typing up a casual enough message. When the girls had left, the restaurant was empty and you still hadn't sent the message.

"Hey (Y/N)," Anna singsonged as she leaned across the counter, her lips spread in an overly enthusiastic smile.   
  


"Yes, Anna?" You replied in monotone without looking up. She always had something stupid to say, and very rarely did you find yourself interested.  
  


"I didn't know you knew Jared Padalecki." She was beaming, bouncing on her heels. "He's so dreamy," she sighed.  
  


You nearly choked on your Pepsi, coughing to clear your throat. "Excuse me?" You hadn't shared that information with them.  
  


"There's a picture on twitter." Max deadpanned from the back. "From Tuc's it looks like," he added as he moved to stand next to Anna. Max didn't look as happy about this but again, he was rarely ever happy. You just stared at them for a second before your cynical coworker spoke once more, "also, your break is up."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, hit that kudos button and comment if you liked it.


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